work, and, therefore, to hold on to papers a day
or two past the Sunday deadline in her attempt to
achieve 'meaningfulness.'
What I learned from her is yet one more reason
students are not always doing what could be their
best work, or following NCU policies. There is so
much going on for these students, so much more
than disorganization or a lack of understanding of
APA (which definitely should be addressed). And
because I believe this, my stance with every student
is to "weigh the scales in their favor," to believe they
are doing the best they can, and that they desire to
do better, even in the face of very real constraints to
their efforts to do better.
I encouraged her to do her best and to "let the paper
go," to turn it in on time and let me do my job of
giving her feedback. I invited her to see that this was
an important way we all learn. And that feedback
was not about judgment, it was about being in
conversation. Conversation is like a dance – this is
an understanding that many struggle with at times,
including myself.
As a therapist, one of the things I work with clients
around is distinguishing between what they can
control and what they cannot control – and focusing
their efforts on what they can control. As a teacher,
I can control my openness to learning but not my
students' level of openness. But it is in surrendering
control of those things I cannot control that amazing
things can happen. One thing I have learned is
that when I stay open, it opens space and invites
a greater sense of safety and openness for my
students. Not always, but often. And that is enough
to keep me energized and learning, enough to keep
me enthused about working with students.
7
